Barry I hardly knew you

For four long months we'd been searching for Barry Cowsill. Barry had been missing since just after Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans. Four months of hoping that Barry would just miraculously show up. Then, on January 4th, the Cowsill family received confirmation that a body that was found in New Orleans was Barry. The search was over and Barry was dead. A piece of my childhood died on that day.

Back in the late 1960s, I was sure that I knew Barry and all of the Cowsills. After all, I read every teen magazine and memorized all the facts about The Cowsills - their favorite colors, what they were looking for in a girl, how they spent their spare time, their heights, weights, hair colors, eye colors, birthdays. You name it and I knew it.

And most of all I knew that I wanted to be a Cowsill. It's not that my family was bad but The Cowsills seemed perfect and happy all the time and man all those cute boys.

Time went by and The Cowsills disappeared off the radar and then in 1990 I found them again. I walked into a pub in the San Fernando Valley and there were Bob & Susan Cowsill. It was rather surreal to see my childhood idols are grown-up. Since that time I have had the opportunity to get to know some of The Cowsills and meet all of them. I learned that you can't always believe what you read. The facade of what was in the teen magazines was far from the reality of The Cowsills. But it wasn't all a facade, The Cowsills were still tremendously talented. And, the adult Cowsills were all intelligent, articulate, funny, amazing people.

Barry passed through my life probably less than a dozen times. The first time I met him was in 1990. My first impression was that I never, ever would have recognized him. He seemed to be hiding behind the beard and the glasses and the hat. He introduced himself and even autographed an album for me with the pseudonym of Elvis Franklin. But hiding or not, Barry was very charasmatic and funny and like all of The Cowsills still extremely talented.

I didn't really ever spend a lot of time with Barry. Part of that was because of me. Barry reminded me very much of my brother, Michael. Like Barry, Mike was diagnosed as bi-polar and like Barry, Mike had substance abuse problems. My brother committed suicide at a time in his life when we all thought he was finally getting it together. Everyone had been telling him how good he was doing and I think he just thought if that was good then life wasn't worth it. I saw in Barry so many of the same demons that seemed to plague my brother and it scared me. So, even though I met Barry and could have spent more time getting to know him, I didn't take that opportunity. I was afraid for Barry. And, now, Barry is dead. We may never know what really happened to Barry after his frantic phone calls to his sister Susan immediately following Hurricane Katrina. Officially, Barry drowned. I believe that Barry, like my brother, is now in a place where the demons no longer haunt him.

Rest in peace, Barry. Sadly, I hardly really knew you.

To Resolution or NOT to Resolution

Now that is the question. I do find myself evaluating things at the start of a new year but making resolutions is almost a joke these days. Everyone (including you) thinks you'll break them; the question is just how soon. So, does that mean, I don't make resolutions. Well, kinda.

This time of year, I do try to spend some time thinking about what I want to change or improve in my life. I find that I'm more reflective than normal this year because before the end of 2006 I'll be hitting a milestone birthday - one of those BIG ones.

So, in 2006, I intend to:

• Move More & Eat Healthier: I hope to be a smaller and healthier version of myself by the time that milestone birthday rolls around in October!
• Practice Patience: Lately I find that I have a very short fuse. Why? Well, I think it could have to do with too much to do, not enough time to do it, a strong-willed 9 year old, having a teenager, lack of exercise, approaching menopause, too much clutter, and probably at least a dozen other things. Regardless of why, it's time that I find ways to react less and enjoy more.
  
• Organize & Simplify: It's time to weed out all the stuff we seem to have collected and give ourselves room to live in the space we have.
  

That's the list. I'm sure there are a lot of other things I could and should do but honestly if I can accomplish these three I will be thrilled!

What are your goals, hopes, resolutions (whatever you call them) for 2006?

Before 2005 ends ...

Before 2005 ends I want to share some of my favorite photos from the year. Some I like because I'm proud of the photo and how it came out and others, while technically imperfect, I like because of the memory they represent. So, without further ado, here are 20 of my favorite photos of 2005:

The quintessential photo of Paul - cheers!

I love the depth of field in this one and the memory of the day that Hannah spent with her friend.

I had a lot of fun taking photos on Easter. This is one of my favorites.

Love the depth of field on this one and Hannah's smile.

Just love the colors and depth of field on this one.

Hannah had a party at Libby Lu for her birthday.
This shot of Emily was one of my favorite photos from that night.

Love the subject and I like how the shot turned out too!

My favorite of the shots I took of Hannah on her 8th birthday.

Hannah ready to perform

Emily ready to perform

This was my favorite shot from the Spring Dance Performance
(even though neither Emily or Hannah is in this one)
I just love the lighting and backdrop on this one.

Love the joy on Emily's face in this one
Our future star!!

Hannah let me take some practice shots of her while waiting for Emily one day.
This is one of my favorites because of the angle and depth of field.

I love the lighting in Karen & Mark's guest room
This one just said "black & white" to me.

Not the best photo but the memory is awesome!
Emily's a teenager!!
(oops, I didn't get any great shots of Emily on her birthday
I need to do that before she turns 14)

Not technically a great photo but we have to document Back To School!
Emily started 8th Grade & Hannah started 4th Grade in September.

I love the "pop" in this photo of Emily at the Middle School Halloween party.

I take a lot of pictures of The Cowsills and love that I can get decent results in low light.

I just really liked how this photo of 2 ornaments on the school Christmas tree came out.

Twice a year I take photographs of ballet and other dance performances.
This is one of my favorites from this year's Nutcracker.

There you have it - some of my favorite photos from 2005. Enjoy them and I'd love to see some of your 2005 photos too!

Happy New Year!!

What are you doing New Year's Eve?

Emily's going to a friend's house and I'm sure she'll stay up too late (okay make that not sleep at all) and eat way too much junk but she'll have fun welcoming in the new year. Paul, Hannah and I will just stay home and probably watch too much TV. We had Dish Network installed today so now we have lots of channels and probably still nothing on. lol! Oh and I'm going to be doing tons of photo editing. The first deadline for the yearbook is at the beginning of February and I need to get all the pictures that I've taken so far edited and uploaded so the 8th grade can get to work on it. Wish me luck.

No matter what you're doing for New Year's Eve we wish you a very Happy New Year!! And, please, say a prayer that Barry Cowsill shows up soon. His family and friends are very worried about him and it would be a great New Year's gift if he were found.

Christmas 2005

Christmas Day was fun but exhausting - presents both at home and at Paul's parents' house, good food and spending time with family. We all got a lot of really great presents and ate way too much food so I'd say that Christmas 2005 was a definite success. One of the happiest gift recipients this year had to be our cat, Nemo. I bought him a collection of stuff in a stocking from one of the pet stores and he kept trying to rip it open even before Christmas - apparently the cat nip in it is just wonderful!!

Sad to say but I didn't take many pictures on Christmas Day - bad mom - but after taking tons of pictures at the Nutcracker and the school Christmas Program and the school Christmas parties I just didn't have the energy for it. I did manage to take a few of the cousins playing in Grandma & Grandpa's backyard after all the present opening was done.

Backyard Fun: Blowing bubbles, collecting nut shells & searching for bugs!

Two of Emily & Hannah's cousins had to leave before dinner to go to their other grandparents' house so before they left we gathered all the cousins together to try to get a good photo of all of them together.

The two youngest cousins

All of the cousins by the tree

With 3 or 4 photographers and 6 kids from age 3 to 13 it's not easy to get a photo especially when I had a lens on my camera that made it tough just to fit them all in and there wasn't time to switch lenses. Oh well, none of them are perfect but it did capture the moment in time. Which is your favorite?