Where DOES the time go?

I remember as a kid when days would just drag and weeks would seem to take forever. I just want to know who sped up the world? Now, days just literally fly by and weeks seem to be over before I can even catch my breath.

Part of this has been a whirlwind I seem to have been caught in since the beginning of the year. Soon after Barry Cowsill's death was announced, Cowsill.com was taken down by our web host (I'm the webmaster there) so I had to scramble to get the site transferred to another host almost overnight. I'm still not caught up with all of that since there are things that used to be on Cowsill.com that I still haven't gotten back up online.

Why is that? Well, it's a little thing called life and trying to do it all - and sometimes seeming to fail miserably at everything. In addition to Cowsill.com and traveling to Newport for Barry's Memorial there and then updating Cowsill.com again with the news of Billy Cowsill's death, I've been busy with all of the girls many social and extra-curricular activities and with trying to update my own web sites which really need some attention and trying to help some with the gala that we just held for the girls' school but mostly I've been immersed in working on the yearbook for the girls' school.

Somehow, over the years, I've ended up in charge of the yearbook including taking almost all the pictures that go into it. It's something I really enjoy at times and that I find a tremendous source of stress at other times. I'm still in the midst of it and am frantically trying to get pictures from things I didn't attend and trying to take other pictures to fill in the rest of the yearbook pages which are due to the publisher in less than a month. Foolishly, this year, I decided that it would be fun if the 8th grade helped with the yearbook during computer class since we decided to go with a web designed yearbook for the first time ever. Since I don't really know the program we're using in depth yet, it's been a series of trials and errors trying to get it done but we did make the deadline for the first half and we're starting page designs for the second half next week. But before I can start to work on it with the kids I have to get all of the photos that are complete onto my computer and uploaded to the yearbook site. Oh, but did I forget to mention, first I have to clear some things off of my computer to make room for the photos since we're running out of disk space - uh oh. This weekend I need to get all the photo stuff accomplished so wish me luck. I know that I'll need it!

But, it's not all work and no play, we did go to the gala for the girls' school last weekend which was a lot of fun and more importantly raised quite a bit of money for the school and we even managed to catch Bob & the band's last set at the Fox & Hounds Pub too. And, last night, I went and saw Sid 'n' Susie (aka: Matthew Sweet & Susanna Hoffs) at Hotel Cafe in Hollywood. The show was a great fun especially when John (Cowsill) & Vicki (Peterson) got up and sang with them though I have to say I felt The Warmth of the Sun was the weakest song of the night even though John did sing backup on it. I'm really looking forward to the release of Under The Covers Vol. 1. But, more than that release, I'm going to be stalking the mailman soon for my copy of Sorrow Bound: Hank Williams Re-Examined!

Barry Cowsill Memorial and a Sucker Punch

Bob Cowsill at Kings Park

Last weekend I flew to RI for Barry Cowsill's Memorial Services. No one would have blamed The Cowsills had they decided to conduct a private service or just invite family and close friends especially after the months long search for Barry. But Barry wanted everyone to party when he died and so The Cowsills threw a party and invited anyone who wanted to be there to come. Before the party, on a very cold and windy RI afternoon, The Cowsills conducted a short service at King's Park in Newport, RI in honor of Barry. Even though it was as Paul Cowsill put it "frickin' cold" the weather somehow seemed fitting to what was happening that afternoon - saying good-bye to Barry and bringing him back to Newport. Barry wanted a party and so later that evening, a party was held in Barry's honor at the Hotel Viking. It was amazing to watch the Cowsill family during these events and see the love and generosity that they showed to all of those who were able to make it to Newport - friends, family and fans alike. The Cowsills are truly amazing people and I am proud to know them and humbled to have been invited to share this with them. If you're interested, you can view the photos that I took at both the Kings Park service and the party at the Hotel Viking.

And now to the sucker punch ... after the event at King's Park, The Cowsills received a phone call from Canada and were informed that their older brother Billy had passed away the night before. When I heard the news my stomach literally knotted up. I cannot imagine how each of The Cowsills must have felt. To lose two brothers in such a short time would be devastating to anyone yet The Cowsills continued to hold the planned party for Barry and will hold additional memorial services for Barry in New Orleans, LA this weekend before they can turn their attention to the north and to Billy.

Billy was an enigma to me and I have to admit I was rather intimidated by him. I only met him twice. The first time was in the early 1990s when he came down to southern California and was at Pickwicks Pub one night. That night The Cowsills at Pickwicks included Billy, Bob, Susan & John and it was the first time that I had heard The Rain, The Park & Other Things live and in person with Billy on the lead and it just sent chills down my spine. It truly was a night that I will never forget. The second time I met Billy was in 2000, at A Taste of RI, when the entire Cowsill clan reunited on stage and off. There are not words to describe that experience; to see all of The Cowsills on stage together definitely brought out my inner pre-teen again. Both times I had the privilege of seeing Billy, he just amazed me with his presence on stage. He simply belonged there. And to see Billy and Bob together on stage was a true treat that I am so glad I didn't miss. It was just right and now it can never happen again. It still seems unbelievable to me and just so sad.

Cowsill.com has Memorial Books for both Barry and Billy if you want to post your condolences and/or memories.

Home Alone (almost) and Hair Traumas

Each year the Middle School students at the girls' school go to Catalina for a week. This is the week and both Emily and Paul are gone. Paul has gone as the chaperone every year that Emily has been in Middle School. Emily's sad that this will be her last trip and she's already told Paul that he can't chaperone when Hannah's old enough to go since that would mean that he got to go more than her. They always have a great time snorkeling, rock climbing, hiking, dissecting squids (okay Emily is not thrilled with this part), learning about marine life and more. Everyone comes home exhausted but happy from these trips. I'm just really glad that the week they went this year was changed. Last year, the 8th graders had to test for high school the Saturday morning after they got back from Catalina - luckily this year they've already completed their testing so Emily won't have to go through that when they get back.

With both Paul and Emily gone, that means that Hannah and I are home alone for the week. Hannah didn't have school on Monday or Tuesday because it was parent-teacher conference time. Yesterday we went to see Nanny McPhee which we both enjoyed. And, today Hannah got her hair cut. She insisted on looking through the book of styles and picked the one she wanted and had it done. The hair stylist was probably amazed that I let someone so young pick out her own style but then again the hair stylist probably thought she was a 1st or 2nd grader. It looked very cute with one side curled under and the other flipped up and she really liked it. Then tonight after her shower she discovered the sad truth that all women must learn at some point in their lives. No matter what the cut you will never be able to make your hair look like the hair stylist did. :) It's been a major trauma since shower time to try to get her hair to look the way she wants. Poor Hannah and just think there will be more of these types of truths she'll have to endure as she gets older.

I feel for her on the hair thing though and may very well be going through the same trauma later this week since it's on my agenda to get my hair cut too. For the past, oh probably 10 years, I've just been having my hair cut into a collar-length blunt bob and then coloring at home. I'm debating trying to branch out a bit this time and in having my hair professionally colored since the at home jobs just aren't doing the job any more. So, I could be enduring the multiple trauma of cut and color later this week!

Barry I hardly knew you

For four long months we'd been searching for Barry Cowsill. Barry had been missing since just after Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans. Four months of hoping that Barry would just miraculously show up. Then, on January 4th, the Cowsill family received confirmation that a body that was found in New Orleans was Barry. The search was over and Barry was dead. A piece of my childhood died on that day.

Back in the late 1960s, I was sure that I knew Barry and all of the Cowsills. After all, I read every teen magazine and memorized all the facts about The Cowsills - their favorite colors, what they were looking for in a girl, how they spent their spare time, their heights, weights, hair colors, eye colors, birthdays. You name it and I knew it.

And most of all I knew that I wanted to be a Cowsill. It's not that my family was bad but The Cowsills seemed perfect and happy all the time and man all those cute boys.

Time went by and The Cowsills disappeared off the radar and then in 1990 I found them again. I walked into a pub in the San Fernando Valley and there were Bob & Susan Cowsill. It was rather surreal to see my childhood idols are grown-up. Since that time I have had the opportunity to get to know some of The Cowsills and meet all of them. I learned that you can't always believe what you read. The facade of what was in the teen magazines was far from the reality of The Cowsills. But it wasn't all a facade, The Cowsills were still tremendously talented. And, the adult Cowsills were all intelligent, articulate, funny, amazing people.

Barry passed through my life probably less than a dozen times. The first time I met him was in 1990. My first impression was that I never, ever would have recognized him. He seemed to be hiding behind the beard and the glasses and the hat. He introduced himself and even autographed an album for me with the pseudonym of Elvis Franklin. But hiding or not, Barry was very charasmatic and funny and like all of The Cowsills still extremely talented.

I didn't really ever spend a lot of time with Barry. Part of that was because of me. Barry reminded me very much of my brother, Michael. Like Barry, Mike was diagnosed as bi-polar and like Barry, Mike had substance abuse problems. My brother committed suicide at a time in his life when we all thought he was finally getting it together. Everyone had been telling him how good he was doing and I think he just thought if that was good then life wasn't worth it. I saw in Barry so many of the same demons that seemed to plague my brother and it scared me. So, even though I met Barry and could have spent more time getting to know him, I didn't take that opportunity. I was afraid for Barry. And, now, Barry is dead. We may never know what really happened to Barry after his frantic phone calls to his sister Susan immediately following Hurricane Katrina. Officially, Barry drowned. I believe that Barry, like my brother, is now in a place where the demons no longer haunt him.

Rest in peace, Barry. Sadly, I hardly really knew you.

To Resolution or NOT to Resolution

Now that is the question. I do find myself evaluating things at the start of a new year but making resolutions is almost a joke these days. Everyone (including you) thinks you'll break them; the question is just how soon. So, does that mean, I don't make resolutions. Well, kinda.

This time of year, I do try to spend some time thinking about what I want to change or improve in my life. I find that I'm more reflective than normal this year because before the end of 2006 I'll be hitting a milestone birthday - one of those BIG ones.

So, in 2006, I intend to:

• Move More & Eat Healthier: I hope to be a smaller and healthier version of myself by the time that milestone birthday rolls around in October!
• Practice Patience: Lately I find that I have a very short fuse. Why? Well, I think it could have to do with too much to do, not enough time to do it, a strong-willed 9 year old, having a teenager, lack of exercise, approaching menopause, too much clutter, and probably at least a dozen other things. Regardless of why, it's time that I find ways to react less and enjoy more.
  
• Organize & Simplify: It's time to weed out all the stuff we seem to have collected and give ourselves room to live in the space we have.
  

That's the list. I'm sure there are a lot of other things I could and should do but honestly if I can accomplish these three I will be thrilled!

What are your goals, hopes, resolutions (whatever you call them) for 2006?